Eventually, even stars burn out.

[bring_balance]

It's been a few weeks at least since Anakin has had a nightmare. Since he arrived in Darrow, he'd been haunted almost nightly by visions of his wife screaming in pain, suffering and then dying while he was helpless to do anything at all. He hadn't slept much, and when he managed, those nights had still left him feeling unsettled.

But now, as time in Darrow stretches on, and as his conversations with Obi-Wan begin to make more sense, the nightmares are less frequent. Anakin has begun to find rest and to find peace.

It's after one such restful night that Anakin finds himself exploring the city. Padmé is at work for the day, and Anakin is thinking about something from a conversation he and Obi-Wan had not long ago. If they're all to begin to build lives in Darrow, there's nothing to do but move forward. His wife has already done this, Obi-Wan is in the process, and Anakin is beginning to feel left behind in this regard. But now, perhaps, without the fear of his wife's death clouding his every day, he can finally find the space to begin.

When it comes to what Anakin should do next, he hasn't given it much thought until recently. There's not much use for a Jedi in Darrow; the city has its own police force. Besides, Anakin wonders if perhaps he's seen too much conflict the past few years. There's a part of him that had enjoyed the battles-- though he'd never admit as much to Obi-Wan-- but he was good at them, and more often than not, he won them. But this isn't the Republic. The Republic doesn't exist anymore, and Darrow, with its eccentricities, often doesn't make much sense to Anakin, even now.

But he knows what does make sense.

Even as a child, Anakin was gifted with fixing things. Its how he made himself useful in Watto's shop, it's how he built his podracer. He remembers Rey mentioning something about finding work fixing things, and he thinks, perhaps, it could be something for him too. For Anakin, life has always made more sense when he was fixing things.

He's not entirely sure where to start, but there's a shop not far from his apartment. Anakin pulls on a jacket instead of a robe as he prepares to leave, but unfortunately, he doesn't get very far.



The first thing Anakin Skywalker feels is fear.



It's all-encompassing, and overwhelming and Anakin can hardly breathe. He's felt this before, lived it for months, but this... this feels different somehow. It reminds him of the night he arrived in Darrow after his first nightmare about Padmé.

It was only a dream.

I won't let this one become real, Padmé.

At first Anakin thinks this must be a vision, a product of stress as Obi-Wan put it when they spoke of his nightmares. But... it feels different, somehow. Less like a dream, and more like a memory. He can remember the smell of Padmé's hair as they embraced, the cool Corusant night on her apartment's balcony. He remembers this, as impossible as that may seem.


The rest seems to come to him in waves so surprising, Anakin is brought to his knees.

Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.

Anakin, I'm appointing you to be my personal representative on the Jedi Council.

The Council wants you to report on all of the Chancellor's dealings.


It's as Obi-Wan told him, only crystal clear in his mind now. The Chancellor's calm and reassuring presence, his support, and the Council's suspicions, their insistence that he commit a crime to prove something that had then been unspeakable. Of course now, Anakin knows the truth, that Chancellor Palpatine had been a Sith Lord all along, the orchestrator of the Clone Wars, the end of the Jedi Order.

But now, Anakin remembers thinking differently. He remembers thinking of Chancellor Palpatine as the only one he could turn to, and he'd trusted him enough to tell him of his nightmares about Padmé.



The next thing Anakin Skywalker feels is panic.


His heart begins to race, and he feels like a trapped animal with nowhere to turn. The walls are closing in around him and all the fighting he can manage isn't enough to break free.

The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

I'm not the Jedi I should be. I want more, and I know I shouldn't.

Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi. Learn to know the dark side of the Force, Anakin, and you will be able to save your wife from certain death. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger.


Palpatine had been the Sith Lord all along, that much Anakin already knows. He'd dealt with his anger over it, had lashed out at Rey and had shouted at Obi-Wan. They'd argued until ultimately coming to the conclusion that there was nothing to be done in Darrow, and further letting Palpatine rule his life was not the way to more forward.

Obi-Wan had never mentioned that Anakin had been the one to realize Palpatine was the Sith Lord, that in the Chancellor's quarters, he'd momentarily entertained the idea before going to Master Windu with the truth. Obi-Wan had left out details, important moments that have now come flooding back to his mind.


Anakin! I told you it would come to this. I was right. The Jedi are taking over.

He must stand trial!

He has too much control of the Senate and the Courts. He is too dangerous to be kept alive!


Anakin remembers the flashes of light, the power from Chancellor Palpatine's hands as it met Master Windu's saber. He remembers the conflict within him. Standing to his left, a man who had never trusted him, who had lied again and again, who had denied him the rank of Master and questioned his every impulse as a Jedi. On the right, though his face had become distorted and sunken, was a man who had encouraged Anakin at every turn. He'd trusted him, listened when the Jedi would not, reassured him when he'd been the most afraid.

He remembers disengaging his lightsaber and letting it happen. The light had been too bright to look at when Master Windu had fallen. And the hole in Anakin's heart had grown. And the Chancellor had been there to fill it with anger and with hate.

There had only been one choice to save Padmé, only one person to turn to. Only one person had listened and supported him, only one person knew the secret to keep his nightmares from becoming a reality. Only the Chancellor could help him save her life.

The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth Vader.



In his apartment in Darrow, his mind racing, drenched in a cold sweat, Anakin finally comes to his feet, his eyes wet with tears.

He's certain that this was no dream, no mere vision. It happened, and Anakin remembers. He remembers everything. He'd become a Sith and fallen to the dark side. Just the thought of it makes him feel sick to his stomach. It's unimaginable, and yet, it had happened.

And Obi-Wan had kept it from him. Another deception, another lie he thought Anakin couldn't handle. What else is Obi-Wan lying about? How far does it go? Anakin pushes down the pain in his heart and the shame as his hands shake.

He knows that he can't let any of this come to pass again. More than anything, he still wants to keep Padmé safe, but he can't be lied to again. He won't be lied to again.

Anakin can sense where Obi-Wan is in Darrow, his energy calm in the Force. Without another thought, he begins to head there, his hand itching to unsheath his lightsaber.

The last thing Anakin Skywalker feels is anger. And this anger is not a memory.

Comments

[larger_world]

Obi-Wan has a place he likes to go to meditate, a quiet little clearing out in the trees, not far from the park, but far enough that he's rarely bothered. He often spends his mornings there if Klaus hasn't stayed over the night before, settling himself, centring himself for the day ahead, and he's there now, his robe draped over a nearby boulder, the weather warm enough to go without, his lightsaber beside him.

There's rarely any need for it these days, but Obi-Wan still feels rather naked without it.

This particular morning is not unusual by any means, but a strange disruption in the Force interrupts Obi-Wan's meditation. He's grown used to how it feels when people arrive in Darrow, the way the energy shifts as they leave their home and come to this place, but this is different. Stronger.

Obi-Wan focuses on it for a moment and then his eyes fly open. No. Not here. Oh, no.

He doesn't know what could have possibly brought it on. Everything they've spoken of recently has only helped to guide Anakin forward, toward a new life, Obi-Wan is sure of it, but something has happened and the anger coming for him now is something he's felt only once before in all his life.

"Anakin," he breathes softly, rising to his feet. Trying to reach him through the Force. "Anakin, no."

[bring_balance]

It doesn't take Anakin long to reach Obi-Wan, crossing the park toward the clearing where his former Master is likely meditating. But the entire walk, the memories that have come back to Anakin repeat themselves in his mind.

Is it possible to learn this power?

Become my apprentice. Learn to use the dark side of the Force.

I will do whatever you ask.

All this time, Obi-Wan had known. He'd known what Anakin becomes and what he'd done. He could have saved Master Windu's life, but instead he'd taken his saber hand in a blaze of blue, then stood back and watched as Palpatine had murdered him.

Obi-Wan had kept it from him. He'd lied again.

When Anakin reaches the clearing, he stops. Words from memories echo in his head, and he can feel his hand of flesh start to shake. He doesn't speak, instead waiting for Obi-Wan to notice his presence.

[larger_world]

When he nears, Obi-Wan can feel him, though it isn't until Anakin steps into the clearing that he turns to face him. He's trembling. Even from the distance at which they're standing, Obi-Wan can see his hand shaking and his brows draw together. He's so angry, confused, and under it all, a sense of betrayal.

"Anakin, what is it?" he asks.

First, he must figure out what has caused this. From there, he can work out what to say, what to do. There are so many secrets in their lives, so many things Obi-Wan has been determined to leave in the past where it belongs and he had hoped, with the realization of Palpatine's betrayal, it would be the last and they could move forward.

But there has been something else. Something much worse.

[bring_balance]

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Anakin asks, his voice cold. How much had Obi-Wan known? Anakin can't imagine that he knew about the fall of the Jedi, and he knew about the Chancellor and had no clue what had happened in those chambers.

How could he not tell Anakin what he had done?

He feels like he's been treated like a child again. The Council had done it time and time again, keeping information from him, not trusting him with things they would gladly entrust to other Knights. And even after Rako Hardeen, Anakin had thought that Obi-Wan was above that. Especially now in Darrow, after they agreed to be more honest with one another.

But that was just another lie, it seems.

There's a knot of emotion in his chest, and his hand lingers near his saber, though he does not move to touch it yet.

"How long were you going to continue to lie?"

[larger_world]

Asking for more information isn't helping and so Obi-Wan falls silent, breathing deep, before he reaches out toward Anakin within the Force. What he feels is a tumult of emotion, anger and fear and betrayal, and at the root of it all, Palpatine. Withered and enraged and deeply, dangerously powerful.

Powerful enough to turn a strong young Jedi toward the dark side.

"You deserved a second chance," Obi-Wan answers, knowing already the argument he makes isn't going to satisfy Anakin. He can see Anakin's hand near his lightsaber, Obi-Wan's still resting on the ground by his feet. He hadn't thought to reach for it, hadn't imagined he would need it. Not with Anakin.

No. Not again.

"You and Padmé, you deserved a fresh start away from it all," he continues. "I worried if I told you, you would see it as the only possible future. You see something happening in a dream, Anakin, and you decide it's the only possibility for you. I didn't want to tell you and have you think it was the only path."

[bring_balance]

So Obi-Wan sees him as nothing but a fool. He's someone to be deceived because he can't be trusted with the truth.

More and more, it seems like no one has ever truly trusted him. Does Padmé? It's almost too much for Anakin to consider, and he blinks at a stinging behind his eyes at the thought.

"I'm not a fool, Obi-Wan!" Anakin shouts, then pauses, resting his hand on his lightsaber, "And I won't be treated like one. Not anymore."

[larger_world]

"I don't think you're a fool, Anakin, I wanted you to have peace!" Obi-Wan answers, his own fear and panic beginning to rise. He can feel the anger radiating off Anakin, so familiar, too familiar, and Obi-Wan cannot control his fear in response.

This can't be happening. Not again. They can't lose all they've built. Not only the two of them, but Padmé, alive in Darrow, safe. Free to build a life with the man she loves.

"Anakin, don't," Obi-Wan warns when he sees his hand go to his lightsaber. "Don't do this. Not again."

[bring_balance]

"Again?!" Anakin asks, the word carrying more weight that Obi-Wan likely intended.

Again.

So there's more being kept from him. More lies and distrust. Perhaps Obi-Wan is the one begging him not to do something again, not to do this again, whatever that may entail. But Anakin is certain that he won't be lied to and deceived again. Not by someone he trusted as a friend, a mentor and a brother.

Not again.

"You're not my Master anymore, Obi-Wan," Anakin says, and only now does he call his lightsaber to his hand, activating it as his heart beats loudly in his ears.

[larger_world]

"Don't," Obi-Wan warns. His lightsaber remains by his feet, he will not raise it against Anakin unless he's given no choice, and while Anakin's ignited blade is a threat in itself, Obi-Wan hopes it won't progress further than it already has.

Yoda had once tasked him with killing the man before him, closer now to what he became than he ever has been before. Obi-Wan couldn't kill him then. He can't now.

"We don't need to do this," he says. "Anakin, I am begging you. For yourself. For Padmé. Please. None of what happened in that future has to matter, not here. I love you, Anakin. Padmé loves you. There is an entirely new world here for us all to explore, to move forward in. This doesn't have to be how it happens."

[bring_balance]

Obi-Wan is always right, isn't he? He's the model Jedi, he always knows what's best. Only, all he's done is lie. How can he trust the man in front of him, after what he knows now?

At the mention of Padmé, Anakin hesitates briefly before steeling himself again.

"You don't get to decide for me anymore, Obi-Wan!" he shouts, and before the fire within him can be extinguished, he lifts the lightsaber over his head and charges.

[larger_world]

Obi-Wan's lightsaber flies from the ground, ignites the moment it's in his grasp, and then he raises it in a swift movement to block Anakin's blow. Their blades hum as they clash against one another, light sparking, and Obi-Wan steps back, his lightsaber at the ready.

But he doesn't attack. He will not attack. On Mustafar, he had, but there had been no choice. Padmé had been near death for all he had known, Palpatine's hold on Anakin was too strong, but not here. Here there is a choice and he's making it now. He won't attack his friend, his brother.

"I love you, Anakin," he says again, his voice strong and steady. He's no longer begging him to reconsider, instead choosing to reach out in the ways he should have long before now. "I love you and I will always love you. You're my brother."